The title alone gave a clear understanding of the nature of the day.
Arriving very early, I sat in my car watching groups of smiling women entering the building. It left me feeling mixed emotions. Outwardly I am a strong, confident woman, often perceived as vocal in my opinions. Inwardly, however, I struggle with ADHD and autism burnout.
I found myself talking myself into getting out of the car, taking deep breaths and reminding myself why I was there and who I was representing. I walked in alone, lifting the mask of confidence and hoping I would see friendly, like-minded people. Almost immediately I was greeted by an old colleague and the feelings of uncertainty began to dissipate. Entering the room, I looked around, searching for comfort in familiar faces. Instead of settling back into the comfort zone I usually place myself in, I made the decision to sit alone at a table. Soon I was joined by smiling women, colleagues and empowered speakers.
One comment from a very empowered and kindred spirit leaned towards me and said, “I loved walking in to the most wonderful sound of women laughing and chatting.” It struck me then that I had been so distracted by my own fear of the situation that I hadn’t even noticed. What a shame that I hadn’t had that same experience.
As women we should notice each other. We should smile for and with each other. We should empower those who struggle and support those who need it. The day continued with opening comments from Temporary ACC Blaiklock and DCFO Luznyj, who spoke about the changes that have taken place, but also the continued need to drive change forward.
The first speaker, Jasmine Naeem Ashraf, an empowered and inspiring woman, spoke eloquently about her struggles as a woman and a person of colour within sport, education and diversity. Jasmine held the room with confidence as she shared her story of struggle, abuse and the challenges she faced in becoming the woman she is today. Her story resonated with every woman in the room. Her message was clear: that all women should believe in and fight for their dreams. That is a message I would happily echo.
It turned out that the second speaker was sitting at our table of amazing women. Laura Alpanseque is an established GP, highly educated and deeply passionate. Laura shared her story of neurodivergence alongside her academic and professional journey. She spoke candidly about why she disagreed with the theme of the day, “Give to Gain.” Laura spoke emotionally about the loss of innocence in her childhood, about familial abuse, and later domestic abuse. She posed a powerful question to the room: why should women have to give something in order to gain? If this were International Men’s Day, would the title be the same?
She spoke about how her life changed when she left her marriage, moved away, and met strong, independent women who supported other women. She told us how her confidence was rebuilt through colleagues and friendships.
Her final message to the room was simple but powerful: Give to yourself, and gain.
Many women approached the table afterwards to thank Laura for her candid and brave speech, sharing stories of their own experiences. Women supporting women. Every woman wants to look good and feel good, right?
Anya Dellicompagni from Francesco spoke about the very natural desire women have to feel good about themselves. She reassured the room that it is perfectly okay to want to feel good and shared ways in which we can achieve that feeling.
The raffle and food provided a moment of lighter conversation and networking — women chatting, connecting and enjoying a well-earned break.
Following this moment of camaraderie, Vennessa Fuller of Premier Tax Solutions took the floor. Her story echoed familiar themes of struggle within domestic circumstances. Her life changed when her family life broke down, but she spoke about taking control of her situation, seeking support from strong women, and gradually building her successful business. She now works as a coach alongside her business, helping others develop confidence and equipping women with the tools they need to stand independently and succeed.
As the day progressed, I noticed a recurring thread in many of the stories shared by these speakers — stories that began with heartache, pain and loss. Loss of innocence, expectations, and sometimes dreams.
Next to speak was Angela Anderson from the North Staffordshire African Caribbean Association. Angela stood confidently at the front of the room and said, “I speak often, so I don’t need the microphone. I can project to the room.” Her confidence immediately filled the space and the room was completely engaged. Angela shared stories of a strict African childhood before moving to the UK, where she faced the fear and stigma of becoming pregnant outside of wedlock. She spoke honestly about hiding the news from her family and the fear that came with it. What could have been a heavy story was delivered with humour and strength. Angela was not seeking sympathy — she was sharing resilience. She continued to describe her passion for work and development, even after experiencing marital breakdown. We were privileged to hear about her journey through life, her travels and her career. The success of her children stands as a powerful testament to her strength.
The way Angela spoke about her life, family and achievements demonstrated perseverance and resilience. It showed the strength she developed as both a strong woman and a woman of colour. I found myself, like many others in the room, hanging on every word.
Listening to Angela, I realised something about the day that I had not fully understood when I sat in my car that morning. Every story we had heard carried a similar thread. Different lives, different cultures, different careers — yet so many shared experiences of struggle, loss, fear and uncertainty. But those stories did not end there. They continued with courage. They continued with resilience, and most importantly, they continued with women supporting women.
Each speaker had found strength somewhere along their journey through the encouragement, belief or support of another woman. Sometimes that support came from friends, sometimes colleagues, sometimes complete strangers who simply chose kindness and solidarity. As the day came to a close, I found myself reflecting on how I had felt just a few hours earlier — sitting alone in my car, convincing myself to walk through the door. I had arrived carrying uncertainty, masking my own internal struggles and wondering whether I would find a place in the room. What I discovered instead was a room full of honesty, courage and connection.
The laughter that I had missed when I first arrived became something I noticed more and more as the day unfolded. Conversations between women who had never met before. Shared smiles of understanding when someone spoke a truth that resonated with many of us.
It reminded me that empowerment does not always come from grand gestures or powerful speeches, although we heard many of those. Sometimes empowerment is simply a woman sitting next to another woman and saying, “I understand.”
International Women’s Day is often about celebrating success and recognising achievement, and rightly so. But what this day reminded me is that behind many successes are stories of perseverance that are rarely seen. Strength does not always look loud or fearless. Sometimes strength looks like showing up when you feel uncertain. Sometimes it looks like speaking your truth. And sometimes it simply looks like supporting the woman standing next to you.
As I left the building, I realised that the mixed emotions I had felt earlier had been replaced by something else. A quiet sense of pride.
Pride in the women who had stood in front of that room and shared their stories with such courage. Pride in the women who listened, supported and connected throughout the day.
And pride in the reminder that when women support women, incredible things can grow from even the most difficult beginnings. Because perhaps the real message of the day was not about giving to gain. Perhaps it was about lifting each other as we rise.
